The Practice of Being Okay Regardless of Circumstances

Mahatma Gandhi recommended we all undertake a gentle reading of all the world’s major faiths. I have taken this recommendation to heart, and it has enhanced my spiritual practice.

Below is a dharma offering by my dear friend Ayya Sudhamma, an ordained Buddhist Nun of our very own Charlotte Buddhist Vihara. I found it inspiring and a clarification of faith: to rest assured that we will be okay regardless of circumstances.

Thank you Ayya, for this message.

A message from Ayya Sudhamma 7/3/2025

I once met a young member of the Latter-Day Saints who offered me a ride when she saw me hurrying down the street. We stopped and chatted in her car, and I learned that she had stopped in Charlotte en route from a small town in the deep south to take up work for the Church in New York City. She expressed lack of fear, saying that she trusts God to protect her. I told her, “I don’t have faith that I will get everything that I want. I don’t have faith that I’ll get everything I need. I have faith that I can be okay, no matter what.” Her eyes widened, and she declared that yes, that is the kind of faith that she wants to have.

I have mentioned this idea many times since. My listeners, many of them Christian, agree immediately to the first statement when I say, “I don’t have faith that I’ll get everything I want.” Obviously, even the most devout tend not to get their wish list and yet who hasn’t heard of people praying to get a good parking spot and other absurdities? They nod solemnly.

The second statement leaves them looking bewildered: “I don’t have faith that I’ll get everything I need.” I have heard many people declare confidently that their needs are always met. They believe that God, or something, perhaps the karma of their lives as good people, will shelter them. Have they not heard of the trials of the saints of their religions? Life ends in death, not in rainbows and cuddles, sometimes ending painfully, and sometimes because our needs were not, indeed, met. This statement can send a ripple of shock through an audience.

Until I deliver the third statement, that “I have faith that I can be okay, no matter what.” People sit back in their seats, pondering, nodding. This is a deeper faith. It brings resilience. Life may not be kind, we may not have everything that we need, we may struggle, we may feel pain. We can still be okay in ways that matter the most.

To the extent we tie our sense of well-being to particular material things and physical circumstances, to that extent we remain vulnerable. The great beings remain unmoved by the ups or downs of worldly conditions (not excited nor depressed by gain/loss, praise/blame, fame/infamy, pleasure/pain).

Letting go is the key. Not necessarily in a dramatic outward fashion, but by deepening our understanding of impermanence (or, for my Christian friends, a deeper walk with God). Really, it is just our delusions which need to go. The Buddha once told his disciples, and I like to believe he said this in a playful tone, that he asks us only to let go of whatever we do not own; he then went on to list every single thing that exists as not belonging to us! (The eye is not yours, let it go; sights are not yours, eye-consciousness is not yours, etc.)

A few decades ago, I felt unimpressed by a certain Thai monk who often claimed to be “happy all the time,” for I considered such a thing impossible. One day during an unusual situation of great turmoil at his monastery, with many residents and supporters frightened and some in tears, I went up to that monk and asked him rudely, “So, you happy NOW?” His face brightened as he said, “Why not?!” then he added softly, “Happy all the time,” and smiled radiantly.

Currently in this country we feel winds of change, hearing of sudden, dramatic changes to structures of our government, drastic military actions, loss of security in employment, health care or assets, and, for many, a reduced sense of protection, autonomy and safety. While some cheer the changes as long overdue, others experience dread.

Even here we can see this as an opportunity for wisdom: to find and uproot fear by looking more closely at where we cling. At where delusion has taken hold. At where we failed to note impermanence and got tangled up in unfounded assumptions that all our needs will be met. Those assumptions are a hotbed of fear. Let’s let them go.

We don’t have to be saints to find a faith that will remain resilient during times of intense change. Every moment is and has always been a time of intense change. The Buddha showed us the way.

May you, and may I, become happy all the time, no matter what.

– Bhikkhunī Ayyā Sudhammā Mahātheri

Metta,

Ayya Sudhamma

With deep appreciation, we thank you for your continued support of this community!

– The Charlotte Buddhist Vihara